And I Always Will
by I-Sort-of-Mean-It
Summary: L always blamed himself for the misfortune of his dear friend... LxB.B. Shounen-Ai.


"The notorious Wara Ningyo killer, Beyond Birthday, has died of a heart attack while in prison. Many people believe it to be the work of the mysterious god-like killer, Kira. In other news…" L heard nothing after the news reporter monotonously announced the of B.B. No matter how much logic he tried to coax himself with, he could never unravel the feelings of guilt.

"…It was never your fault…" He whispered, as if B.B. could hear him.

Maybe, in reality, it never was.

_He was fourteen at the time. Quillish Wammy said he was going to introduce him to the new orphan they had taken in. Beyond Birthday was his name.  
"…What an odd name…" He whispered as they made their way down a plain, overly white hallway. He considered what the boy would be like as they stopped in front of a large iron door. The feel of the place was very similar- if not identical- to that of an asylum.  
"We aren't in a mental hospital are we?" L questioned, pushing a few of his combed, but none the less messy, black locks from his equally dark eyes. Wammy looked down at him and couldn't help but give a slight laugh.  
"Not at all."_

_L found himself feeling rather apprehensive as his guardian began to push the heavy iron door open. He wasn't sure if it was the setting, the fact that there would be another child of similar intellect around, or even if it was just the child himself. But whatever it was that was making his stomach turn, it stopped as soon as his eyes met Beyond's.  
They were deep. Not like an ocean, or even a lake, but they were deep. Deep like the depths of unspeakable insanity, L thought. This child… this Beyond… he was… different; Much more so than anything or anybody L had ever come across. It was alluring, and frightening at the same time. He d it, and he loved it._

L's eyes started to burn and he felt his heart melt. Was it the pressure he put on everyone else? Was it the rejection? What was it that drove his B.B. to crime? (Yes, _his _B.B.)  
"It was nothing that you did, Lawliet." L rationalized.

"…Did I just call myself Lawliet?"

_"L, this young man here is Beyond Birthday. Beyond, this is L Lawliet." B.B. stood up and walked over to L, stopping when he was a mere three inches from L's face.  
"What an odd name. Lawliet. Lawliet." He whispered it afew more times, adjusting to its sound, deciding whether he liked it or not.  
"Lawliet…Lawliet…" Normally, L d being called by his first name, but when Beyond said it… When Beyond said it he felt as if the world was melting away. He felt as if Beyond was commanding his entire universe with a few (seven to be exact) simple letters.  
"Lawliet…" He hissed out a final time. L prayed he would say it just one more time…  
"It's an odd name, but I like it." B.B. smiled. Not a normal, human smile, it was more like the smile of a demon child; Sweet, but none the less dark. Another enchanting thing about him, L realized. _

"I shouldn't have ever gone after him… I should have tried to save him…I should have…" Little crystalline drops leaked out from L's eyes. He tried so hard to stop them but they just continued to flow. After awhile he just learned to let it be. B.B deserved to be mourned, despite his actions. The sleepless man clutched his knees tighter than usual and hoped that this small childish action would be of some comfort.  
"It's no use…" The only thing that could be of comfort at this time was B.B.'s touch.

"_Something the matter, Lawliet?" B.B. looked over his seventeen year old predecessor's shoulder.  
"Nothing, B.B. And please, please don't call me Lawliet."  
"Sorry, L..." No matter how many times he told him not to, Beyond continued to call him Lawliet. Truth be known, L really didn't mind.  
"So what's wrong, L?" B.B. sat next to him, staying as close as he could to the dark haired boy who had quickly captured his affection.  
"No…Nothing…" A broken whisper escaped his lips, and tears broke free from his eyes. There was no way to hold anything back from Beyond, no matter how much he tried to. B.B. stopped pressing for answers at the first sign of tears and just wrapped his arms around L.  
"Shh…It'll be ok. I promise." Normally it was in the older boy's nature to fight people away, but he just let Beyond hold him. It was the small comfort that kept him going (even though he would never admit it).  
"I love you, Lawliet." L looked up at him, awestruck. No one had ever said those words to him (at least none that he remembered).  
"I…You…B.B…Do you really-" Soft, pale lips graced over L's as if to answer the unfinished question.  
"I always have." B.B. whispered into L's ear as he kissed his forehead and proceeded to dry his baggy, sleepless eyes. "And I always will."_

L looked around to see the cause of his disturbance. Something had made a noise, yet there was no visible culprit. After afew moments he shrugged it off and continued to cry.  
_"I love you. I always have, and I always will…" _ It was a faint whisper at best, but L heard those words as loud as any siren or alarm.  
"I love you too, Beyond. I always have, and I always, ALWAYS will…"

It was then that Beyond gained his wings, and truly rested in peace.

(It was also the first night L had slept through in more than 15 years.)

* * *

A/N: Well, it's not my best work, but I am satisfied with it. This was just a little LxB.B. fluff I thought of while listening to "From the Beginning Until Now" from the Winter Sonata sound track. Thanks for reading!


End file.
